Gbanjo is Yoruba’s term for public auction. When pejoratively employed as a slang, it becomes a cheap thing and/or of low quality.
In my younger years in Ilesa, we had “bugan” (hard as rock). It was leavened bread that came out as unleavened, smaller than the rest and of arrested value. The “deformity” automatically robbed the baker of rewarding effort. It was usually sold as gbanjo, in its combined meaning of being cheap, of low quality and for public auction.
When an item that should sell at an edifying price comes ridiculously low, my Ijesa people will say “uhun buruku po woduwodu” (too cheap to be valuable).
Osun state former Finance Commissioner and financial engineer, Dr. Wale Bolorunduro is dreaming big for Ijesa dialect. He recently shared with me his vision to endow a chair in the Faculty of Languages of Ilesa University, mainly to promote the dialect especially its distinctive features that the regular Yoruba can’t capture. I’m already excited though I digress.
Penultimate Tuesday, insurgent columnist and senior journalism colleague, Mr. Suyi Ayodele came swinging a rod, aimed at President Bola Ahmed Tinubu’s occiput for his no-limit expansionist project, which initially looked like derobing the opposition, particularly the Peoples Democratic Party in public, to make it dance naked to the 2027 party, by stripping the party of all the governors elected on its platform. Oga Suyi lined the President as a modern version of a folkloric farmer who charmed his way to wealth at the expense of his colleagues. He equally dubbed the Nigerian leader someone who removes others’ roofs to cover his.
I have a slightly different view. Waka queen Salawa Abeni has a song about apportioning blame. She says “ki nse ejo eni jamala tio sanwo, awa ta fi egusi se namon lari bawi” (don’t blame someone who got up from a bowl of amala with unwashed hand, the blame should be placed at the door of the cook who splashed beef with melon seed).
At least in Nigerian movies, have seen sex hawkers haggle. Even when a judgmental society considers them worthless, they still form steaze. The theatre mirrors life.
Last week, three more PDP governors, Plateau, Taraba and Adamawa were reportedly in the transfer market for the President to pluck, just like he did with others in recent months. Then the Taraba man came out singing what is now a political national anthem; I am under pressure to join APC. Sounds like a surplus-to-requirement footballer hyping self-worth while trying to offload himself. Then the Plateau plumpy guy came miming the tune and the local chapter of the ruling APC said enough of public palongo (ridiculous dance steps) The pushback just like in Osun was not only defiant but demeaning and embarrassing. The APC stakeholders gathered in Jos to double-down on the we-don’t-want-you sing-song though the inconsequential zonal leadership of the ruling party would rush in to save the governor’s ashen face. How low can it go and get before these people get it that the honour boundary for the principle of demand and supply lies in supply not being in an avalanche? Now that Mutfwang has been shamed, maybe he can learn the comeback-kid thing from his Osun counterpart and try to regain what is left of his street credibility. After similar smackdown by Osun APC, the governor who is seeking his next year’s re-election on his PDP platform, appears to be regaining his street mojo. He is “lighting” (his political sobriquet is Imole meaning light or a new dawn that casts previous darkness which should be the back-to-back APC leadership of the state) the street of Osun again. Maybe Jos and the rest of Plateau will re-receive Governor Caleb after the won-nwa-mi-l’Ame (they are seeking me in America when the fellow isn’t so missed or appreciated) fiasco. I understand the APC national chairman, trying to make his Plateau a home for the ruling party ahead of 2027, even if through the back door, but his own pushing back, back home, doesn’t suggest a cohesion that should be so attractive to the PDP governor. An English proverb says “too many cooks (and I add crooks) spoil the broth”. Even APC stalwarts are beginning to query the mad dash for their party, hemmed delicately by federal patronage for now and which they are very certain would soon be busted by ambition. Overload go crash the keke (too much load will crash the bicycle). If and when Muftwang secures his transfer to APC, is he going to be the automatic leader to the national chairman? E be like say some people just dey play, as a friend will describe loading mischief.
Beyond the well-known expansionist instinct of President Tinubu and his winner-take-all disposition to power, the defecting PDP governors have placed little value on themselves, their politics, the office and the mandate of their people they are supposed to hold in trust, regardless of their reasons for the shameful ongoing political harlotry. Yoruba will encourage and eulogise valour with “eekan lomo kunrin n kun” (the courageous stakes all with honour). Didn’t the Word of God also say it is appointed into man to die once? Whether re-election appears doomed for those seeking a second term like Mbah and co, (which isn’t in almost all their situations) and would need federal might to snatch victory from the electorate or they have violently defecated on accountability chair in the management of their states’ resources (which is very likely), and now being blackmailed by those who control federal inquiry forces, there should be a yellow line not to cross in grovelling before Abuja. The governors are writing their political journey into infamy.
Sure, the raft of gubernatorial defections has made President Tinubu look politically-invincible again. He has always wanted to be the god of Nigerian politics and he is rewriting the history book fast. Thankfully, he has customer daada ni (Hausa’s native speaker of patronising mainly Yoruba customers especially in Lagos), in opposition governors particularly of PDP hue. But the President should not dance to “lilo bibo eda laye lowo e lowa, jije mimu gbogbo eniyan Baba lohun pese (the melodious dancehall gospel song gripping everywhere) yet. Aside the growing growls in his party by the original members who are unhappy about old foes becoming their new leaders overnight, the defection script is beginning to read like the ruling class’ coup against the Nigerian electorate, forcing them to surrender their power of choice in the absence of political opposition, even before a single 2027 shot is fired, by weakening them in the knees with a one-party state. But even nature itself abhors a vacuum. The people have shown the capacity to, though inorganically, organise themselves into a credible opposition whenever organised opposition dropped the ball. The Nigeria Labour Congress (NLC) has suffered this consequence when Nigerians began to distrust it as their representational megaphone. Today, rag-tag citizens’ advocacy groups pull more people into the street to protest anti-people policies of government than what remains of the labour movement can. If President Tinubu obliterates the doddering opposition in the political space, he is guaranteed of a rag-tag replacement that could be more devastating to his re-election. These rudderless, leaderless groups have been sacking governments in recent times. People enjoy being free from political straitjackets in exercising their choices. In 2023, the everyday voter made a Peter Obi choice and not Labour Party’s. I vividly recollect the joy in UI (University of Ibadan) as the student-voters were powering him to a decisive victory at the polling booth on their campus. Any vote mentioned for Obi during the count, was met with “no structure” joyful chorus; a defiant signal to the political establishment which predicted a mincemeat demolition of the Labour candidate because of the perceived lack of political structure outside his South East. He shocked bookmakers with his performance and almost turned the poll on his head.
What is even befuddling in the Marriage of Anansewa unfolding between a President that can’t seem to have enough on his plate and harlotry opposition governors is that Abuja doesn’t even rate them as having substance in governance delivery. The President constantly heckles the governors to do more for the people considering the naira windfall to them since the Abuja lord decided to raid the little everyday Nigerians had, through subsidy removal and naira devaluation which have resulted in a monumental cost of living crisis. His men knock the same governors for not doing enough at every given opportunity to take the heat off the President’s back.
Days back, it was the national chair of the ruling party descending on the governors, asking Nigerias to hold them accountable for the populace economic distress. And Mr. Caleb, obviously one of the beleaguered governors of states practically shut-in by Fulani terrorists, is still warming up. Can someone please try to have some shame? The President is throwing you under the bus as below average and you keep flocking to his harem. What a haram!
End.
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