The first couple, Adam and Eve, were technically siblings and biologically, of the same DNA. Both had their bloodline in Abba and the bone that formed the person of Eve, came from Adam. Yet, they had the vilest of marital crisis, with Adam throwing Eve under the bus when the wrath of divine judgement hung like the Dionysius sword over Damocles. Eve however demonstrated better fidelity to their union. Though also into the blame game like the supposed head of the family, she found an outsider to hang. Serpent was to take the fall. But the Omniscient/Omnipresent saw through and beyond the buck-passing. The one who was given the original charge as the leader of the household but now playing the narcissist, got a wang and tang on the head. Eve, the “charmer” also collected. The divine “serving” completed a circular delivery with the slippery creature confined to eternal slithering. What a God of justice.
Going by Genesis accounts, Adam was already a grown man before God noticed his loneliness among his creatures and introduced His “daughter” to him, after a memorable deep slumber. That makes God the first surgeon and the first ever to administer perioperative care; an anesthesiologist if you like. The biblical accounts also suggested Eve came as old enough, maybe first as a company (helpmeet), then after a while, of marriageable age. That they weren’t into “knowing” each other until much later of living together (when they fell) suggested Eve coming in a bit young (formed from just a bone from Adam’s rib would suggest a smaller and slender creature) and unarguably much younger than Adam.
That divine template cleared the first man of any perception of cradle-snatching and that should also avail Chinedu Munir Nwoko, a senator of the federal republic who spaces his most junior wife, Regina Nwoko (nee Daniels) by up to 41 years, only that there is now an exactness in law which forbids marrying a younger woman below a certain age peg. The question is, did the lawmaker break the law to acquire his belle six years ago?
Beyond the constitutionality question, there is something more intensely foreboding about early marriage, for both genders, and in particular for females as exemplified by Regina. Science has pegged brain maturation at between mid to late 20s and age 30. A female brain is considered fully developed at around age 25 and the cerebro-maturation process in females is taken to begin slightly earlier than in males. That would give a 25-year-old female a better cognition processing than a male of same age. Maybe that is why a female is tended to take life more seriously at this age while her male agemate is still sagging his denim with a waist of a whale, to impress younger girls.
Experts further noted that while the brain is already at its normal physical size around age 5, “the prefrontal cortex, responsible for complex functions like planning and decision-making is one of the last areas to mature. This final stage of development involves ‘rewiring’, strengthening useful neural connections and pruning those that are not.
“A female brain is considered fully developed by around age 25, though the final stages of development occur throughout the 20s. During this time, the frontal lobe, responsible for planning, decision-making and impulse control, continues to mature”.
According to neuroscience, “a not fully developed frontal lobe can lead to difficulties with planning, impulse control and emotional regulation, resulting in problems like poor judgement, difficulty with executive functions, personality changes and social challenges. Individuals may struggle with tasks, act impulsively, have exaggerated or inappropriate emotional responses and find it hard to understand social cues.”
Frontal lobe issues can also cause, according to experts, problems sequencing tasks, organizing activities or prioritizing what needs to be done. There can also be trouble with attention and focus, being easily distracted and having a low attention span. The “sufferers” equally face inability to solve problems or think flexibly.
Impulsive behaviour like acting or speaking without considering the consequences, aggravated risk-taking due to difficulty with future orientation and poor judgement, are also consequences of the all-important lobe not being fully-developed before subjected to determining and defining crucial life issues.
Not left out are increased aggression, mood swings, inappropriate emotional reactions as well as the individual not being empathetic enough.
Is this speaking to someone about that youth in your house you consider difficult? Does that tantrum that frustrates you anytime your young person throws it, fit into this scientific explanation? Maybe this will also bring some relief to parents who think their children out-of-control. Maybe someone will also gain understanding of how to relate with young people without thinking them irredeemable, though their still-developing frontal lobe misdemeanors could be insufferable atimes. Maybe some man not named Nedu but trying to cope with a teenage wife will also find solace in science here. Maybe some parents like Regina’s mum would consider this scientific reality before bowing to heavy pride price and wheel their teenage daughters to homes filled with meat and strife. I know science isn’t absolute and there are always exemptions, but even the precocious need cultivation for maximum impacts and geniuses grow. If God is against growth, we would have all come as adults not babies and He has the power to so do. At least, with Adam and Eve, He did.
Will the drama in Mr. Nedu’s household with his young brides equally fit into this? Is he filling his harem with women he doesn’t understand beyond what my Ijesa people will call their pepeyoyo (pleasant to the eye from a distance due to bright skin colour)?
The tempest in Mr. Nedu’s bedroom is almost at what meteorologists would categorize as the tropical storm, having surpassed the first two stages of tropical disturbance and tropical depression (marital in Nwoko’s case). The fourth and final stage is the full-fledged tropical (marital) cyclone. That would be when feuding parties and their supporting strikers move from blame-trade like Adam and Eve, to a full hurricane of fury in fight-backs, retribution and revenge. I pray there would be neither Hurricane Ned nor Typhoon Reg.
Sadly, it looks an upgrade in the storm is inevitable. Receipts to back up claims and counter-claims are furiously flying out of family closets. Even Ned, the supposed adult in the room is conducting his oro (festival) like a kindergarten, as a Yoruba proverb will call attention to man-child behaviours. Yes, he should defend allegations of underage marriage hauled at him, just like Regina should say her truth about the wild things she was allegedly made to do behind doors, but the one with fully developed frontal lobe should be tidier and not going low, low, low (a la Kizz Daniel) to show he can buga his estranged wife and family, due to his wealth and political status.
In the matter of Regina’s true age at the point of becoming Ned’s wife six years ago, I choose to believe the senator that he wasn’t marrying a constitutional underage, even if she was truly 17 at the time, which would be below the legal peg of 18, according to Child Rights Act of 2003 which set marriage age for the two genders and which holds that any marriage contracted below the peg is null and void. Yoruba will express confidence in lady-justice with “ti ika ba rojo, ika ko lo ma da (the wicked won’t be the accuser and the judge at the same time). The evidence (Regina’s voter’s card) provided by Nwoko cleared him of any unconstitutional act in marrying her when he did, whether she lied in her claim to INEC or not, though he must have realised now that money can’t short-circuit growth, especially that of mind. A child will always be a child without discounting the gifted and the otunrarebi (self-trained).
On drug abuse and getting high’ for conjugal coopulating, I choose to believe Regina especially when Ned couldn’t convince he married her a junkie and now that she has self-declared as one while under Ned’s roof, it doesn’t require rocket science to know where the saga began. Then Sammy “the serpent”; the older brother who allegedly tricked his sister into getting high, allegedly for her husband. Then the other wife, taking the side of Ned, after dumping him for a while.
Yoruba will say “ola ni yonu”, wealth can come with a lot of troubles, siding with Proverbs 17:1. Imagine someone still splurging on expensive “highs” in this crushing economy when N5,000 can barely feed a day. But the man allegedly demanding an “expensive” sex rakes in billions as a sitting senator, coupled with expansive business network. No matter the trouble in their marriage, these guys still show they are a power couple. Imagine Regina confessing to drug consumption and no government agency has invited her. Imagine Nwoko not denying the leak of him assaulting his wife and still walking free. A random wife accusing the husband on the social media would have brought police gun-a-blazing (a la Trump) on the hapless nobody of a man. Ned isn’t just any man. He is the man.
Both Ned and Reg are troubled, traumatized and need help, regardless of the public shows they are putting up. I can imagine the man going to bed and palpitating about what he would wake up to, from his battle-ready online in-laws, fighting Regina’s war. I will end this by committing Nwoko to a Yoruba wise-saying about why an elder should stay away from a fight with a younger fellow. If he defeats the younger opponent, he would be a shameless elder pummeling a junior, if defeated, he would be an elder shamed by a junior. Both ways, he is a loser. May everyone in the roforofo receive sense.
If they cant end the crisis like Adam and Eve, who found solace in each other’s warmth after collecting their guilty pronouncements from God, they should stay apart and save their children and other decent members of the two families, further embarrassment. Need I remind them, even the little damage they have done to themselves, internet won’t forget, just like God reminded Moses of Adam and Eve in documenting the book of Genesis. The reminder is lasting human existence.
May divine peace envelope the combatants.
End.
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